John Ready – Sentencing Thoughts
John Readys interview with Jean Edwards after his court sentencing for physical assault of two minors while managing a diary herd at Gloriavale in 2015.
Jean: how did you feel when the judge said you’d believed you’d lived in chains for long enough?
John: I thought it was a very considerate statement and that the sentence was very fair. And I did try to own what I did right from the start I didn’t try to run from it or make excuses. So I think it was a fair sentence handed down.
Jean: How do you feel about what happened?
John: All those things are in hindsight and so in hindsight it’s like okay that was over the top, not appropriate and unacceptable that’s why I put up my hand to say yeah I did do this and I would abide by what the court handed down to me. Much of what I have been brought up on and I have rejected as being false and the way that the community I came from run for cover and deny everything and in my opinion just flat out lie when faced with what they’ve done, I certainly didn’t want to do that. I wanted to admit where I failed and where I broke the law.
Jean: What were you thinking at the time? Was it normal to hit kids in GV?
John: It was very normal when I was growing up. But to be fair at the time and I’ll be completely honest about it, there was certainly a frowning down on hitting kids. But I had my own nature and my own demons to deal with as well and that’s why I put my hand up and said yes I did. And I don’t want to blame Gloriavale for my failings. That gives me a position when I do point out their failings, that it has some merit because I’m not just blaming them for everything. I’m hoping to blame them for what I believe they’re guilty of and owning what I’m guilty of and thereby show this is not vindictive or that I’m trying to be nasty. But I’m saying this is unacceptable behaviour and I’m willing to put my hand up when I’ve behaved unacceptably as well.
Jean: Have you managed to speak to the two boys involved.
John: Prior to this even coming up, it was my nephew who brought it up to me. And I even had trouble remembering it. I wasn’t really sure what he was talking about and he persisted over a number of times and then it jolted my memory and he seemed quite upset about it and I was like yeah and in hindsight I treated you wrongly and I apologised every time he brought it up because he seemed upset by it. I apologised and said I wish I could do more. But all I can do is keep apologising and show my humility by my willingness to apologise.
Jean: What’s life like for you now?
John: Well, there’s lots of heavy responsibilities because with freedom comes responsibility. As a family I think we are doing well and we are growing and adapting to our new environment and we are going forward to being productive members of the wider community and not a burden and also taking responsibility. And I’ve had this opportunity with my own family and my own boys to say this is what happens when you break the law. Don’t break the law. I’ve been very upfront and open with them and I haven’t tried to hide it. This is a learning opportunity.
Jean: How do you feel given you’re making this progress in the outside world and you still have to come and revisit tough times in the past?
John: It just goes with the territory. Wouldn’t it be great if you could run away from the past? But you can’t. The unacceptable behaviours that you’ve had in the past, you’ve got to face them eventually and I think you do it as honestly and courageously as possible.
Liz: How did you feel when the judge said to the people in the in the courtroom today, “I believe this man has spent enough time of his life living in chains”?
John: I was touched emotionally but it’s hard for me to define. I felt there was a bit of an emotional tug there. To be fair I’d have to think about it to process that, because it’s quite deep. Because you’re not in physical chains, but you’ve got psychological barriers and theological barriers and it takes a bit of unpacking. But I think the judge was very accurate in creating a word picture of what was going on internally. These aren’t physical chains but there are definitely internal chains. And as I alluded to before I have some of those internal chains that are put there myself and so I have to take responsibility for those. And some of the Community that I grew up in has to take responsibility for.